(*Side note I started writing this before it was on t.v. the other night)
Ryan Gosling said it best as Noah in the Notebook,
Ask yourself, what do you want?
What do you want out of life? Think about it without thinking about the pressures from friends, family, and society. What do YOU want? It can be a dream out of reach or just how you see your life playing out. It can be simple or it can be complicated. It’s what you want not about what she wants, he wants, your friends want, or your family wants. It’s your life so ultimately everything you do and want should be from your mind and heart.
So, what do I want? That is a loaded question. I have wants in all aspects of my life. I think it will be best if I break it down into categories.
Romantic & Domestic
I want to spend my life with the person who makes me happy. I want to be with the person I love no matter what. The one who has my back. I want to have a home with my significant other and be able to come home to him every night after a long day. Not only do I want to have a home with him but I want to live comfortably and not struggle financially. Not saying I need or want to be rich I just want us to be okay. I want to marry him so we can truly be connected to each other. I don’t need the big wedding because I’m not that kind of girl I just want the commitment of marriage whether we elope or have a ceremony. I want to have babies because more than anything in this world I want to be a mom because I have so much love to give. I love children so much and I want nothing more than to share my life with little pieces of myself and the man I love.
This one is the tough one because it seems so far out of reach. This want is the one that effects the rest of my wants for my life because it controls the income to have it all. I spent years in school to become a teacher. I didn’t slack off and I worked hard to get good grades and do a great job. I put myself into $50,000 in debt because I wanted to do what I loved and was going to do whatever it took to achieve my dream. Now the school is done and I am job hunting after having a temporary position I not only see how hard my dream is to achieve, but that it is out of my control. No matter how much I apply or how qualified I am it doesn’t mean my application will be seen. Even if it is seen they most likely know who they want to fill a position or the girl who knows someone will be given the opportunity. I am 25 and I graduated about a year ago, yes I am young but I am not that young. I want my career now not in a few years because I want my house and family. So where does that leave me as of now? It leaves me applying for teaching positions and praying for a job. Praying that for some miraculous reason I am a better candidate than all of the other people who apply. I also realize that is not very realistic so I am left to search employment sites for random careers. My thoughts right now are if I can make a steady income and possibly have health benefits then why not take it so my life doesn’t have to take a pause. Who knows maybe I will find something I like and actually make a better living then I would as a teacher. As much as I love kids I am to helping myself fulfill my wants.
There are a lot of aspects to ones personal wants. Let’s begin with health. I have medical issues I have been struggling with lately, nothing life threatening but there are several things going on so it is just a lot at once. I just want to feel better so I can sleep better and wake up and have a more positive outlook on my days. I believe when you feel good you put good energy out there and things seem to flow better. I want to feel good about myself and my decisions. I don’t want to wonder what if or regret the choices I make. Along with my own health I want my loved ones to be healthy both friends and family. I want all of my loved ones to be happy because when they are sad it deeply hurts me. I want my friends to stay my friends. I want them to experience success and love. I want to be there for the moments that are good and bad in their lives and want them to be there for me through the ups and downs. Your support system is everything no matter where you are in your life. I cannot function personally without that love around me. I don’t think this is too much to ask for or want out of life.
This is genuinely what I want without any input from those around me. What is it that you want?